There are a plethora of oddities that happen in video games that make no sense and have no basis for happening in the world you and I are trapped in, til death do us part that is. In the afterlife though, it is any ones guess as to what can be done. While we are hear on this floating abysmal rock we can at least take solace in enjoying the completely absurd aspects that video games try to play off as totally feasible in their realities. Below are examples of games implementing oddities that wouldn’t quite happen in our world.

5. Gatorade Heals All!The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct

Daryl Dixon is badass to the core. So much so that he can apparently heal broken bones, damage from shrapnel, and even zombie bites with a simple ‘sport drink’.  He follows that up with a few Military M.R.E’s (Meal Ready to Eat) and he is ready to do anything. Save is methed up hill billy brother, no problem. Near death and down on your luck? Chug this green stuff and get back in the fight! Fight hordes upon hordes of flesh munching zombies? He’s got a crossbow and a can do attitude. Are you starting to get my levels of sarcasm?

One of my old bosses loved to say “Eh, you’ll be fine. Just rub some saw dust on it” when we got injured. I find that kind of fitting for Daryl and Activision’s health plans. Except you know, with more electrolytes and bite marks.

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He’s so ready for this

4. Gun +  Gun = Bigger Gun! – Dead Rising 3

The Dead Rising universe is full of zaniness and oddities that help make it great. Giant floppy penis rockets, a clown dual wielding chainsaws, and Frank West in a man bikini, it all is a little over the top and I truly had a wide variety or moments to choose from to fit this list. One of the things that sticks out the most for me is the fact that during the game you unlock the ability to combine pretty much whatever you can get your grubby little mitts on into newer and deadlier hardware. The Z.A.R. is perhaps one of the most deadly of these combinations, combining the stopping power of the shotgun with the longevity in range of an assault rifle. Which of course Nick can put together in a few seconds with duct tape and some good ole fashion mechanical know how.

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3. A Dog to Rule Them All– Silent Hill 2

People on the internet are obsessed with many things. One being cute puppies and kittens, the other being whatever gross shit their friends tag them in. If you could have the two combine in just the right way it would be the recipe for an internet conspiracy for the ages. Slyly enters Silent Hill 2.

Silent Hill 2 is regarded by many as the best entry in the series (though some of us would disagree). One of the reasons why was the multiple endings you could unlock. The most infamous of which has protagonist James Sunderland finding a secret control room, indicating all the horror he had faced was all for the amusement of the viewer at the desk. Upon closer investigation it is revealed that the Jigsaw like mastermind behind it all is a cute little doggy. Jacob falls to his knees in disbelief and the final nail in the coffin comes when the adorable abomination comes up and licks Jacobs face as if to say “Deal With it” and then the credits roll. While our society is dumb enough to let a lot of horrors happen in this world let’s take brief happiness in the fact that dogs really can’t inflict these horrors on us. Cats on the other hand, watch out for those evil geniuses.

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2. Friendship Bullets! – Overwatch

Overwatch is one of those feel good games in the sense that it is a game rich in character diversity,and like many of the Blizzard games it has a huge community and following. In fact the game has over fifteen million active players world wide. That is a huge accomplishment!

In a game where a small Korean girl can fling a mech suit that detonates a huge explosion, and an over glorified pleasure stick like Genji can get play of the game by flinging his bullshit shurikens and bouncing around like a two year old who just had his first sip of Mountain Dew, than it does make sense for reality to get a little on the sketchy side. Case in point with the newest character, Ana the sniping medic grandma from the days of Overwatch handling the Omnic Crisis. The part that takes her out of the realm of you and myself is what her sniper rifle is capable of. Besides the corrosive shots it deals to her enemies, it also comes with the added benefit of healing her allies. Yup, the lovable  grandma can tuck you in at night and shoot you in the face when you get a boo boo. When you and I shoot each other we just bleed more, it kind of makes me want friendship bullets.

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Shhh grandma will fix it. (Rifle cocks in the background)

1.  Walk it Off– Grand Theft Auto V

The Grand Theft Auto series, while being fun for the whole family, generally keeps itself based in reality. The criminals in the game do bad, the cops hunt them down and brutally murder them. What tears the fibers of reality away and makes the game all the more fun is when players think of new and exciting ways to brutally injure the characters on screen, then they just get up and walk away like nothing even happened.

In the real world if you and I were to speed down the freeway at a hundred and fifty miles per hour and slam in to a median, then spend the next minute or so skipping down the pavement, chances are it’s lights out for us. All we managed to do was give the pavement a new color scheme and scar our fellow humans for life. In the wonderful world Rockstar Games created, you can crash a jet into a school bus full of children and as long as you eject early enough you’ll be more than okay enough to enjoy your handy work as the smell of burning flesh and metal fills the air. Then you can go crash a sports car in to a building at high speeds, because to hell with seat belts.

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(Please always wear a seat belt, you are a precious little living creature. Well, most of you are.)

I hope you all enjoyed this look at some of the slight oddities game developers pass off as plausible aspect in reality for their created universes. If you have any favorite unrealistic aspects as well as what games they are a part of, please drop them down in the comment section below. I don’t have anything to say at this point so if there is anything to take away from all this it’s: don’t let dogs or cats figure out how to use electronics, always wear a seat belt, and a little Gatorade never hurt.